I was talking to a friend this week and she was expressing a lot of self-judgement. She told me that she goes to bed thinking about all of the things she hadn't completed on her to-do list for the day. She told me that she will try to "reward" herself by allowing herself to do something she enjoys, only after she does all the stuff she doesn't want to do.
I listened as she talked about how she doesn't feel good enough. I remember the book "The Four Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz. It was a game changer for me. Not that I don't struggle with these four agreements every single day myself, but it is nice to come back to.
I shared with her one of them: Always Do Your Best. Your best today may be very different than your best tomorrow. After a good nights sleep, a healthy breakfast and a cup of coffee, my best is going to be way better than if I am recovering from Covid (this happened) and am exhausted and healing. It is not fair to judge ourselves every day from one standard. If we wake each day and offer ourselves just a little grace and do our best (whatever that is on that particular day), then we can go to sleep at night without the self-judgement and self-abuse knowing that we did our best and there was nothing more than we could. Maybe we'd learn to be a little bit kinder and more forgiving to ourselves.